For others, though, the hold up is the belief that because they did so badly in the language classes they took as children or teens, they’ll do just as badly as adults. Bad schools experieces make some people assume they’re “not good with languages.” In reality, probably with few exceptions, there is no reason having floundered in school resigns you to a miserable fate of ending monolingualism. There are very real reasons most of us progressed slowly in school language classes and reasons we can do better as adults.

You Have More Choices Now

Most schools provide a very limited choice of language courses. You’ll usually get the three or four languages most widely spoken in the region. If none of those choices particularly inspire you, it’s unlikely you do very well. Passion for the language is a huge factor in sticking with it and, I would say, learning quickly. As an adult, you have the chance to choose any language you truly want to learn, even if it’s Hmong or Laotian.

You Have More Ways to Learn

There’s more than one way to go about language learning. School classes are often focus on memorizing vocabulary and grammar rules with a lot of writing and very little listening material or conversation practice. That kind of knowledge is easy to test and therefore convenient for teachers, but it doesn’t always provide practical communcation skills.

As an adult, you can choose the learning methods that suit you best. Notice whether you learn better through reading or listening, then try to get more authenitic material (material made for native speakers) in whichever form suits you. Try different textbooks and language courses like Pimsleur, Living Language, Teach Yourself, Assimil, and Rocket Languages. There are hundreds out there. Some of these carefully feed you material in a very organized way, while others use a more organic, immersion-like approach. All have their pros and cons. If you’re wary of buying, check your library for copies.

And look around the internet for courses by people who have their own take on learning the language. Some examples are Synergy Spanish, a course on how to communicate effectively in Spanish with just 138 Words and Arabic Genie, which offers a fast way to learn to read Arabic. Both were created by individuals who developed their own skills and methods in the real world rather than a classroom. I haven’t tried either course, so I’ve no idea how good it is, but the point is course like these can be as useful as more expensive, university-developed material.

You Have Access to Memory Aiding “Tricks”

Unfortunately, language teachers rarely teach students how to learn a language. They usually just don’t have time to provide tips and tricks on learning vocabulary, improving speaking fluency or the many other things you need to do when learning a language. Out of inexperience, young students try the first things that come to mind. For instance, they may try to memorize vocabulary simply by reading and rereading a list of words the teacher provides, which is probably the hardest way to learn vocabulary.

As an adult, though, you have the opportunity to try out learning tricks, memory aids and other “mind hacks” that can help you learn much faster. Not everyone likes to use these; some people prefer to immerse themselves in authentic material and surround themselves with native speakers and just soak up what they can in their own time. That’s fine, but if you need to learn quickly for your job or some other pressing reason, then you may want to arm yourself with some extra “mental tools” for language learning.

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Fact is, not everyone will be delighted with your attempts to learn their language. We all have bad days when dealing with a foreigner’s broken whateverese is not exactly appealing.

A blunt remark, tense sigh or frustrated grumble here and there may be unpleasant on the receiving end, but they’re understandable and forgivable.

Some people, however, are just plain rude and want to make you feel inferior. They may roll their eyes at your mispronunciations, frown and answer curtly in English when you speak to them in the local language, snicker and whisper to the person next to them, or mock your accent and gestures (and not in a “cute” way) while their friends laugh out loud. Yes, all these things have happened to me at one time or another. And I didn’t die…or even pass out.

If worry over how other people might treat you while you’re learning is holding you back, here are a few things you can do about it.

Get Some Backup

Make sure you’re not socially isolated, which is a real risk in a new country where you barely speak the language. Friends—people who like and respect you, that is—help you remember that in the grand scheme of things, some stranger’s rude remark doesn’t matter much. You vent, get sympathy or suggestions, and get over it so you can go back “out there” again.

If you’re trying to avoid speaking your own language, make friends with other well adjusted foreigners who speak the local language. But especially make friends with locals. When you vent to someone who understands the local culture, they can warn you if made a serious faux pas, tell you what you should have said instead, or reassure you that, yes, that chick who rolled her eyes was being rude and it wasn’t your fault.

Laughing at Versus Laughing with

Make sure you’re not taking things more personally than they’re meant. I first noticed the danger of this in a college French class conversation group lead by a native French speaker. It all started with the French word for nose, which is spelled nez, but pronounced “nay.”

One student pronounced it with a z several times. Finally the native speaker commented, almost as an aside, “And don’t say, ‘nezzz.’ It sounds ridiculous.” I thought of it as a little friendly teasing and I’d heard comments like that about my Russian, too.

After class, though, the mispronouncing student commented on how rude and hurtful the remark was. It’s anyone’s guess as to how the French guy meant that comment, but how it was interpreted could have made all the difference.

If you feel picked on, lighten the mood with your own retort. I can only imagine the class’s reaction if she’d said, “Well, sorry, but the French spell funny.” Whenever my young students teased me about not being able to roll my r’s well. I’d reply with, “Say, ‘this.’ Ththth.” Of course, they couldn’t. Stopped them in their tracks to realize maybe I’m not the only one who “talks funny.” In other words, if teased, tease back.

They’re Not Worth Your Time

As for people you’re fairly sure are trying to put you down, well, like Eleanor Roosevelt said, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” It can be a bit of a shock to run into someone who deliberately tries to make you feel bad, but keep one thing in mind: these people are being rude.

Their mothers would be ashamed. Decent, kind people don’t sneer at and mock others, now do they? As far as I’m concerned, insulting someone because of their native language (and the fact that it isn’t yours) is right up there with insulting someone because of their race, religion, or gender.

So there’s no reason you should let these other people’s low class behavior make you hesitant to continue speaking your new language. Their attitude does not reflect on you as a person or a language learner. Forget them and keep practicing.

If you’re generally not too confident speaking a foreign language anywhere or with anyone, here are some more tips on overcoming the fear of speaking a foreign language.

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Just to clear up a common misconception, technically “introverted” and “shy” aren’t the same thing. A shy person often wants to be more social, but finds it difficult.

We introverts may have no problem being social, but avoid doing so because we find it draining. We usually prefer one-to-one or small-group conversations and avoid mingling in large groups. A lot of us hate pointless chit-chat, preferring more serious, deeper conversations.

“By Myers-Briggs’ definition, an introvert derives energy from his or her internal world of emotions and ideas, while an extrovert draws from the outside world of people and activities for spiritual sustenance.” (Source: CIO )

If that sounds like you, here are a few thoughts on increasing your speaking fluency in a foreign language without draining your “social batteries” too much.

Find a Roommate

I’ve found this absolutely invaluable both for language practice and getting to know the local culture. It’s handy to have someone you can ask for useful phrases, as well as ask to clarify etiquette issues or explain exactly what today’s holiday is all about. And for an introvert, it’s often much easier to have one person you can get to know well than to try to be a social butterfly.

At thirty-*cough-cough,* though, I’m not comfortable with couch-surfing or staying in hostels (they’re called “youth” hostels for a reason). Away from home, I usually rent with one other person. I’ve usually just stayed in a tourist apartment until I can either meet a local who can advise on apartment-hunting, but you could also find out on your own which local newspapers or websites have “roommate wanted” ads.

If you don’t know much of the local language, look for someone who speaks just a little of your language and, even better, isn’t working on learning more. Since you’re immersed in the local languages, chances are you’ll learn that much faster than your roommate will learn yours and soon it will just be easier to speak the local language. If you work at home, you might want to avoid students, since they who tend to be in and out all day, which can get disruptive.

For short-term stays, an alternative to the loud, boisterous youth hostel is the guest house or boutique hotel. Guest houses outside the main tourist areas are not only cheaper, but also have fewer foreigners. Try to get a room near the lobby and hang out in the lobby as often as you can. These places may have long-term residents you can get to know if you spend enough time out where you’re visible.

Seek Out Interesting People

Are you the typical introvert who hate superficial chit chat, gossip, and conversations that go nowhere? The fact that you’re looking for people to practice talking to doesn’t mean you have to talk to anyone and everyone.

Go look for new friends anywhere you’d go if you spoke the language fluently and wanted to meet some people you can really connect with. When I first arrived in Budapest, I went to book readings even though I hardly understood Hungarian at all, much less literary Hungarian.

Put up an ad offering language exchange sessions and list your interests. By mentioning the things you like to talk about, you increase your chances of meeting someone like-minded. This more structured type of socializing puts less pressure on you because there’s no wondering when to invite the other person or when they’re going to home.

Another strategy that can be more structured and intellectually engaging that fellow hostel-occupants is to look for volunteer opportunities. You’ll almost certainly be given a job that doesn’t require knowledge of the local language, but you’ll come in contact with people who speak only that language.

Make the First Move

This is much easier in some cultures than others. In some places you can hide behind a book and people will still come up and try to chat with you. In other places, you could sit there in silence all day.

Within the local norm, try to strike up conversations whenever you can. It doesn’t matter that, as an introvert, you wouldn’t chit-chat with strangers even in your native language. You don’t need to go into it with the intention of “getting to know” the other person. All you’re really trying to do is practice a little. You say something like, “Hey, those are great looking shoes. I bet they’re really comfortable.” and you’ll probably get one of the following reactions:

• A disgusted look
• A surprised look
• A polite brush-off comment such as “Uh-huh.”
• A thoughtful, engaging reply

The first is unlikely and the second isn’t so bad. With the third, you can decide based on other social cues whether you want to press on or drop it.

Obviously, it’s the fourth we hope for. Depending on the person and the culture, you might exchange a few words or end up exchanging phone numbers with plans to meet. Either way, you got in a little speaking practice.

Getting enough foreign language speaking practice may take a little more planning and effort for us introverts, but it’s entirely possible to do while still being true to our wonderful little introverted selves.

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While phrasebooks, dictionaries, grammar exercise books, and the like are important, it’s equally important to supplement your learning material with native-level text and audio right from the beginning.

It Connects You to Native Speakers

Vocabulary lists and grammar rules in textbooks can feel artificial unless they’re connected to the world of native speakers. If you’re studying French, without evidence that real French people use the words in your textbook, you start to feel like you may as well be learning Klingon in preparation for your trip to Paris.

Once you get to this point, your brain starts to reject the information you’re feeding it because of your subconscious doubts that what you’re studying is important. Seeing words and grammar in use where native speakers are communicating with each other clears up any doubts.

It’s Motivating, Rewarding, and Dare I Say…Fun

Delving into authentic material is a little like taking the training wheels off the bicycle. A kid who can ride well with training wheels still wonders whether they can “really” ride a bike.

Likewise, learning a language from “learning material” can make you feel like no matter how well you read those textbook passages, you might still be very far from your goal of being able to communicate with native speakers.

In reality, you’re probably closer than you think. Realizing you can already get something out of authentic material makes you feel like you’re really entering the world of native speakers.

It also shows you the language may not be as scary or overwhelming as you thought. Learning Russian? Break open that Russian newspaper and start to read anywhere. Can you read the words in Cyrillic? Great! Can you understand anything, even a few words? Even better! That’s proof positive that you’ve learned something.

Sure, it might be hard, but at least you know it won’t get any harder. Native speakers aren’t going to start inventing more intricate grammar as soon as you start catching up to their level of knowledge.

It Helps You Master the Essentials First

A good course book should give you a solid foundation in basic vocabulary and essential grammar. Still, it’s hard for a fluent speaker of a language—native or otherwise—to identify exactly those words and grammar features a learner needs first, next, and later. Not to mention individuals have different needs. You might need vocabulary for job hunting, while someone else needs it for childcare.

When you’re dealing with authentic material, you’ll naturally come across the “most important” words and grammar features again and again. You can’t help but review them. Another advantage of using authentic material is that you can choose which topics you spend your time on. If you’re interested in auto repair, the average text book probably won’t build your car-related vocabulary much, but car magazines will.

How to Get More of the Good Stuff

Check your local libraries for books, magazines, movies on tape, and audio CDs or cassettes. Depending on where you live, they may surprise you with their array of foreign language goodies. If they don’t have anything in stock, ask if they can take something out from another library.

Find an online newspaper, magazine or blog (or several) that has enough content to keep you genuinely interested and coming back daily. Check YouTube.com and similar sites for audio-video. Make it a habit to browse your favorite sites every day, even if you only read a few paragraphs or watch one video.

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