Just to clear up a common misconception, technically “introverted” and “shy” aren’t the same thing. A shy person often wants to be more social, but finds it difficult.

We introverts may have no problem being social, but avoid doing so because we find it draining. We usually prefer one-to-one or small-group conversations and avoid mingling in large groups. A lot of us hate pointless chit-chat, preferring more serious, deeper conversations.

“By Myers-Briggs’ definition, an introvert derives energy from his or her internal world of emotions and ideas, while an extrovert draws from the outside world of people and activities for spiritual sustenance.” (Source: CIO )

If that sounds like you, here are a few thoughts on increasing your speaking fluency in a foreign language without draining your “social batteries” too much.

Find a Roommate

I’ve found this absolutely invaluable both for language practice and getting to know the local culture. It’s handy to have someone you can ask for useful phrases, as well as ask to clarify etiquette issues or explain exactly what today’s holiday is all about. And for an introvert, it’s often much easier to have one person you can get to know well than to try to be a social butterfly.

At thirty-*cough-cough,* though, I’m not comfortable with couch-surfing or staying in hostels (they’re called “youth” hostels for a reason). Away from home, I usually rent with one other person. I’ve usually just stayed in a tourist apartment until I can either meet a local who can advise on apartment-hunting, but you could also find out on your own which local newspapers or websites have “roommate wanted” ads.

If you don’t know much of the local language, look for someone who speaks just a little of your language and, even better, isn’t working on learning more. Since you’re immersed in the local languages, chances are you’ll learn that much faster than your roommate will learn yours and soon it will just be easier to speak the local language. If you work at home, you might want to avoid students, since they who tend to be in and out all day, which can get disruptive.

For short-term stays, an alternative to the loud, boisterous youth hostel is the guest house or boutique hotel. Guest houses outside the main tourist areas are not only cheaper, but also have fewer foreigners. Try to get a room near the lobby and hang out in the lobby as often as you can. These places may have long-term residents you can get to know if you spend enough time out where you’re visible.

Seek Out Interesting People

Are you the typical introvert who hate superficial chit chat, gossip, and conversations that go nowhere? The fact that you’re looking for people to practice talking to doesn’t mean you have to talk to anyone and everyone.

Go look for new friends anywhere you’d go if you spoke the language fluently and wanted to meet some people you can really connect with. When I first arrived in Budapest, I went to book readings even though I hardly understood Hungarian at all, much less literary Hungarian.

Put up an ad offering language exchange sessions and list your interests. By mentioning the things you like to talk about, you increase your chances of meeting someone like-minded. This more structured type of socializing puts less pressure on you because there’s no wondering when to invite the other person or when they’re going to home.

Another strategy that can be more structured and intellectually engaging that fellow hostel-occupants is to look for volunteer opportunities. You’ll almost certainly be given a job that doesn’t require knowledge of the local language, but you’ll come in contact with people who speak only that language.

Make the First Move

This is much easier in some cultures than others. In some places you can hide behind a book and people will still come up and try to chat with you. In other places, you could sit there in silence all day.

Within the local norm, try to strike up conversations whenever you can. It doesn’t matter that, as an introvert, you wouldn’t chit-chat with strangers even in your native language. You don’t need to go into it with the intention of “getting to know” the other person. All you’re really trying to do is practice a little. You say something like, “Hey, those are great looking shoes. I bet they’re really comfortable.” and you’ll probably get one of the following reactions:

• A disgusted look
• A surprised look
• A polite brush-off comment such as “Uh-huh.”
• A thoughtful, engaging reply

The first is unlikely and the second isn’t so bad. With the third, you can decide based on other social cues whether you want to press on or drop it.

Obviously, it’s the fourth we hope for. Depending on the person and the culture, you might exchange a few words or end up exchanging phone numbers with plans to meet. Either way, you got in a little speaking practice.

Getting enough foreign language speaking practice may take a little more planning and effort for us introverts, but it’s entirely possible to do while still being true to our wonderful little introverted selves.

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A little shyness is normal, but some learners have a real dread of saying foreign words when anyone else is around. Needless to say, that dread can stop any real language learning. If that sounds like you, here are some simple, low-stress steps you can take to get closer to being able to speak a foreign language with more confidence.

Repeat After me

The first step is to just get used to physically saying the words out loud. Get an audio course that gives you plenty of opportunity to repeat after a native speaker. The ideal is when the speaker says the word slowly, syllable by syllable, then at a natural speed and you get a chance to repeat both times. If you can’t find a good course through your local library or bookstore, look around online. No courses at all? Try singing along to a song you know well or have the lyrics to.

Talk to Yourself

Once you’ve already been speaking along with someone else, move on to speaking alone. Just saying a few words aloud when no one else is around helps you get used to hearing yourself say foreign words. Repeating words and phrases aloud also helps you remember them better.

Grab your phrase book, pick out a very common phrase (“Hello,” “Good afternoon,” “Excuse me.”), and say it out loud in as close to normal volume as you can. Keep practicing like this until saying new words out loud when you practice is almost a habit. Eventually, it will no longer sound strange to hear those foreign words coming out of your month.

Join a Class

“Weakness in numbers” is one way to reduce your fear of making mistakes in front of someone. An acquaintance of mine only took language classes with 10 or more people because she felt more comfortable seeing that she wasn’t the only one who made mistakes. (As a bonus, bigger classes also tend to be cheaper.)

If you don’t like the idea of speaking in front of that many people, though, taking lessons with just two or three others still takes a lot of the pressure of you. It will give you the chance to talk a little bit without forcing you to talk for the entire lesson.

Assess Yourself

The fact is unless you learned strictly from printed material, you probably sound a lot better than you think. Yes, you may have a strong accent and make grammatical errors, but when you talk, people are concentrating on what you say more than how you say it.

The absolute best way to build your confidence is to speak the language with a native speaker. The idea might be a little scary, but once you realize you can communicate with native speakers, your confidence will soar.

If you can snag a native speaker, but you’re not ready for a full conversation, start by simply pronouncing those basic phrases you’ve been practicing. Ask, “So, now, am I pronouncing this right? Is is …?” You’ll either get, “Yeah, that’s right!,” “No, actually it’s…,” or “Um, I’m sorry, what word are you trying to say?” The last two replies do not mean your conversation partner assumes you have an IQ lower than your shoe size. They know you’re learning.

Another good trick is—now don’t run away screaming—recording yourself. Basic physiology means we never hear our own voice the way others hear it. By listening to a recording of yourself, you’ll know for sure what other people hear when you speak. As long as it doesn’t sound like garbled shrieks from the devil incarnate, you’re probably all right.

Extra Tip: Watch Movies

Pick up some movies made for a native speaking audience and watch, listening for whatever words you can make out. This brings your target language out of the academic realm and into the realm of everyday use. When you’re just starting with a language, you tend to have a subconscious belief that these foreign words are just “funny sounds” and may not “work” for actual communication. Hearing them used by real people (albeit actors) in context makes you realize that those funny sounds do “work.”

Be Aware of Cultural Expectations

Very generally speaking, the more common the language, the less props you’ll get for your attempt to learn. Speakers of some languages have a reputation for being particular about how their language is spoken. A Swiss lady I knew once mentioned that although she spoke fluent French, whenever she spoke French to natives of France, they made not-too-impressed comment about her accent. Others may be a little cliquish about (or protective of) their language—as an extension of their culture—and not appreciate your attempts to butt in.

The point is to realize that if your efforts aren’t warmly received, check with other learners. You’re probably not the only one getting a cool reception. Keep doing the best you can and know that those who laugh or make rude comments are most likely either monolingual or are hypocrites who don’t have the language skills they demand of you.

Have your own tips to share with FFLL readers? How to build your confidence when you’re learning another language? If you have any suggestions, please leave a comment below.

Related posts:

1. Fear of Speaking a Foreign Language? Consider This When You Travel
2. Foreign Language Learning for Introverts: Speaking Practice Tips for Immersion Situations
3. How to Learn Foreign Language Vocabulary When You Have No Time to Study